Psychoanalysis • Psychotherapy • Counseling

David I. Brandt, LCSW, LLC

Montclair, NJ Area

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Problem vs. Solution Focus

Posted on January 26, 2014 at 5:44 PM Comments comments (0)
Problem vs. Solution Focus

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Found this quote below. Sometimes, we really do need to focus in on, and deconstruct, issues, if only to raise our own consciousness of their essential components and/or of the issues themselves. There also comes a point where:

"If I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger. If I focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger."

Thank you to Twitter @jonniqueen (whoever you may be!?) for this one.

The Secret Blessing of Letting Go:

Posted on January 3, 2014 at 3:11 PM Comments comments (2)
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Orienting and Partializing™

Posted on November 30, 2013 at 1:11 PM Comments comments (1)
Orienting and Partializing™

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Tend to procrastinate in the face of bigger, time-consuming tasks? Or in the face of stuff you just don't feel like doing?

Try doing five minutes of the task before lunch or dinner so that you ALREADY are in process/progress with it when you take a break. Now you are over the "unknown" aspect of it.  It is already now familiar and real (vs. built up and imagined) and you might have even started to gain momentum or get ideas about it. So it is easier, then, to get back to the task when your break is over since you are now “oriented" to it.

Partializing particularly larger or more daunting tasks is also a helpful technique. For example, if you have a 600-page novel to read or 400 photos to sift through, you might be hard-pressed to begin. If, instead, you set a REASONABLE amount of the task to do -- say 10 pages per night or 20 photos per day — then, within a week's time, you will have already read at least 70 of the 600 pages or sifted through 140 of the 400 photos. Some nights, you may even find yourself really into the book or enjoying the photos and getting a bit more than your set goal accomplished. Be careful, though, not to go  too  "all out" as you also want to avoid burn-out, which could potentially set you back to avoiding and procrastinating again.

If you find that you still cannot get yourself to undertake larger, more longer-term tasks, then perhaps having some help identifying and exploring possible obstacles might be necessary. Indeed, in some cases, ADD, anxiety, perfectionism, depression or another issue might well make it harder to focus in and/or sit still to get bigger jobs done.  Besides identifying any underlying issue(s), a professional helper can also serve as a coach who can cheer you on.  

Helpful Quotes to Keep in Your Back Pocket

Posted on November 24, 2013 at 8:23 PM Comments comments (0)
Helpful Quotes to Keep in Your Back Pocket

Trigger Bill:  The trouble with life is you're half way through it by the time you realize it's one of those 'do it yourself' deals.

Lao Tzu:  If you don't change the direction of where you're going, you'll get there.

Alcoholics Anonymous:  You cannot think your way into right acting, you have to act your way into right thinking.

Plus:

Winston Churchill:  If you're going through hell, keep going.

Showing Up™

Posted on October 1, 2013 at 9:23 AM Comments comments (5)
Showing Up

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I have heard it said that "showing up is half the battle".  One can hold onto this thought in one's back pocket to help them move in the face of anticipatory fears and negative assumptions that might otherwise impede movement and stir up avoidance.  Examples of these impeding thoughts might be: I'll be bored, or, no one will like me, or, they'll think I'm trying to prove something, I'll be all alone, I won't know what to say, I'm too fat, etc.

Many I know often end up feeling fairly pleased that they went to a pre-scheduled (or unscheduled) event, despite not feeling much like going at all just ahead of the event, as their anticipations started to really ramp up.  It turned out not to be as bad as they thought,  nor anything like  what they had built up in their heads!  Indeed  it was even good  that they bumped into this or that person, or dispelled a myth that they had been holding onto about another or even about themselves.  Perhaps they had an excellent laugh or made a valued connection.  Maybe they simply got themselves out and felt good just for that!

Of course, sometimes canceling out or trusting a foreboding feeling about some plan can pay off as well. We get some emotional refueling, alone time, or avoid some real (and perhaps not so imagined) problem encounter, etc.

There is another essential aspect of this 'showing up' business: and that is the 'leap of faith' that on some level is always involved!  In other words, it takes a certain amount of trust and openness, along with a certain level of motivation, to believe in and actually make use of the adage 'showing up is half the battle'.  It may take unwinding some old traumas or having an evolution of small successes or other factors to begin to become more accustomed to trusting these words as a motivator of movement.  This may require some found support along the way.